Pop Culture...

If you’re reading this article, odds are that you’re probably at least a light pale green in your commitment to Mother Earth. (That or you’re a friend or relative I’ve harassed to read my blog – you guys rock!) So in honor of the many shades of green out there, I present a list of top ten green excuses for your every day use.

TOP TEN GREEN EXCUSES

10. “I know I smell, but you couldn’t possibly expect me to shower longer than 1.3 minutes and waste an extra 3.6 gallons of water.”

9. You can’t eat dinner at your mother-in-law’s because you can't be subjected to another helping of her non-organic food/soul-crushing criticism.

8. “Of course I’m tired. I was up all night trying to figure out exactly why Madonna is on the cover of Vanity Fair’s 2008 Green Issue.”

7. “I’m sorry, but attending your son’s Bar Mitzvah/daughter’s confirmation/sister’s wedding will offset my carbon footprint.”

6. When you’re pulled over for speeding, you say, “How about I give you 25 useful facts on solar power to make this whole thing go away? Okay, make it 50.”

5. You walked into that adult sex shop because you thought that sign read “We’re totally organic!”

4. “What do you mean, I can’t set up an industrial wind turbine farm in my front yard? What is this, Communist Russia?”

3. You tackled that distinguished gentleman on the street because you thought he shared Al Gore’s dreamy profile.

2. When you’re mistaken for a homeless woman, you explain you’re just taking “reduce, recycle, and reuse” to the next level.

1. “Oh, like you’ve never tried to run a Hummer off the road!”